People have let me down numerous times. I have learned not to trust people. Therefore, this quotation by Dr. Martin Luther King resonated with me: “Faith is taking the first step even when you do not see the whole staircase.” Since I am also not a huge risk-taker, I have anxiety when stepping out of my comfort zone or changing my routine. I have to replay all the possible scenarios in my mind, similar to me planning my next move during a chess game (metaphor). If I do not make a move, then this will happen. If I do take this bold move, I may place myself in jeopardy. The queen may trap me. The hardest part of my journey is “taking the first step; it takes me years to gather the courage and take the initiative, to walk off the cliff. Perhaps I am too complacent, which is a fancy way of saying I am too lazy.
However, I am proud to say that I did take my baby step yesterday on Dr. MLK’s birthday. Yes, folks, it was exhilarating. This morning, I was eager to start my day, and I walked with my chin lifted a little higher. Yes, the first step was time-consuming. It took me hours to research the information, read the directions, follow them, and then pay for it. It was not cheap, but I saved enough money to afford my dream. Sometimes, money can be an obstacle that prevents you from achieving your dreams. It was a long time coming, but I am proud of myself for starting the process, especially since not knowing what is in store for me makes me more anxious. However, my hero Dr. King, reassures me that my feelings are normal when he speaks to me: “[At this point] you may not see the whole staircase.” Yes, I may see the entire staircase or what is around the corner. But I know that there is a bright new world waiting for me around the corner or at the end of the tunnel. I will also allow myself to close my eyes, trip sometimes, bump into a wall and even fall. But when I fall or encounter disappointments, I may want to cry or scream, but I will pick myself up and keep walking until I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will see all of you a the end of the tunnel. There’s no turning back now.